Finstagram and online identity

I came across an article on Elle online: The Crazy Way Teens Are Hiding Their Imperfections Online: Finstagram "Yes, it's insane, but this is what girls do." (Yes I know my fellow readers (if any), female fashion magazines are probably not the best source one could quote from, for their reputation of publishing very bad flirting and dating advice. But hold your grasp for now, I know it is a real shocker that I read these too. I am afraid I do not live up to my impression that I read Austen alone.)

I think this is something we should all feel very guilty of - let's face it, Shakespeare said it right in his play:

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players

If one can use social network in an isolated world then this should not be a problem. See the contradiction here? Yes, it would not be a social network without the social aspect of it - you will need other people to play in the game. Perhaps some of them were created as a dating tool (Facebook) in the first place, it does not stop them from invading our life. Us humans are social animals (or it should have been better said, nosy animals). We enjoy being appreciated and admired by others and we adjust our life to portrait and maintain a certain impression. It is just human nature but our modern technologies pushed it to a peak that was unforeseen in the past: not only you get notified that you were 'liked' by someone, the notification is also instant. With such easy access to the pleasure, it became addictive.

This reminds me of the experiment of testing opioid on mice in pharmacology. Mice were held in a cage where there were two buttons: one for opioid and another for their basic needs such as food and water. All they had to do was to press whatever button they desired and the corresponding item would be given. We discovered that some of them eventually died of starvation because they found so much pleasure in the drug they put no attention to satisfy their basic needs. The pleasure of the drug was so great that they forgot to live, quite literally.

I would consider myself to be a late(r) generation of the use of social networks. Facebook became a popular network when I was in year 8. YouTube was up before that but nothing like it is now with Vloggers and beauty bloggers getting sponsored by cosmetic companies. Back in my days (upon my word, this makes me sound so old...I am not!), YouTube was the place with fun videos. That was it. Nevertheless, I do spend a reasonable amount of time on social networks and I think it does take up a proportion of my free time. For those born in this day and age when social network and maintaining a certain online identity is a necessity, it is of no wonder it causes distress to them.

There is no denying that we are all attention seekers and social networks feed our need in this aspect. Sure, the world is always a stage as long as you consider it so but it does not make a play without the audience. Now the social networks even provide your audience and you can communicate instantaneously with them. Just as a stage play will involve costumes, make-up, a script and lighting etc., the social networks provides a stage for one to play as idealised as the individual wishes. It is our nature to create something in perfection and when we get an opportunity, we fulfil our wish in this. No wonder we take picture at the 'right angle' to make us like good, airbrush our photos and plan ahead to present these images on social networks. Soon this online identity of ourselves in perfection evades our mind and we fool ourselves into thinking it is the reality. I think this is when you experience a shock.

We are so obsessed to portrait ourselves in the best way possible to others and we forgot who we really are. Like the mice in the opioid experiment, the pleasure of being appreciated by others was so great that we forgot how to live before the age of social networks. We worship the satisfaction from attention so much as that it became our only focus and desire in life. No wonder these girls are selective in posting photos and would rather have two identities in Instagram, as what others thought of them was more important than anything else in the world. I think it is totally understandable because teenagers are rapidly exploring the question of 'who am I?' and much of this comes from how others see us.

Last summer I was struggling in job hunting and when I went on Facebook, I discovered all the good employment news of my fellow colleagues at university. It was a hard one to bite and I deleted Facebook on my phone. In my conscious hat I knew everything on social networks is airbrushed and sugar-coated but I still could not face how could others look like they have a much better life than me. Later with the help of friends, I saw my life was no less than others.

The cure to this obsession is to remember everyone is on the same boat. We filter the content we publish online and therefore you see mainly good news. But life really is a roller coaster and it has its ups and downs. Find a passion and pursue it: try doing it without publishing about it online. Remember that your life is more than what people see and think of you, have some me time and you will soon realise 'hey, this is good!' Happiness comes in many forms and much to our disappointment, no one really cares...other than your loved ones. So why bother living a life when you forget why you are living it in a particular way to please others? There are novels, films and music to feed those needs.

Social networks are fun stuffs to play with but it should not cause you much distress. Keep them fun :)

Much love,
Jenn xxx